What to do when, after years of harmonious marriage, one cannot agree on one of the most important issues? 37-year-old Alexandra, who is trying to have a third child, also knows this, but her husband is fundamentally against it.
When Alexandra (37) and Jiří (46) got married, they had a pretty clear idea of what their marriage should be like. They agreed on a number of important things, including the number of children; the unwritten agreement was: maximum two. But as the years went by, the couple began to diverge on this point.
It took a long time for life to return to normal
“We got married seven years ago. I had just turned 30 and was looking forward to the big life change that marriage would bring. Jirka and I had known each other for just over a year and getting married was a natural result. of our great love “. Alexander remembers with a smile. “We were perfectly happy together from the first moment and we loved letting everyone know that it was love at first sight.”
Less than a year after the wedding, a daughter was born to the couple in love. Although Alexandra had a fairly comfortable pregnancy, the birth was not very comfortable. The baby did not want to be born and 24 long hours passed before the doctors “convinced” her. “Josefína – as if she wanted to follow up on a complicated birth – was a bit painful from the start. She didn’t want to eat, she didn’t want to sleep or ride a stroller, she cried more often than the other children … She was calm only among the my arms or in my husband’s, and it took many months before our life returned to a more or less normal path. “ says Alessandra. “It was only after a year and a half that we took a break and after two years we slowly started thinking about a second child.”
The thoughts of a third child were very intense
Alexandra became pregnant not long after she and Jiří finally agreed on their second child. Little Vojtíšek’s journey around the world was much less complicated than that of his older sister, yet he too gave both parents a lot of problems. “Vojta suffered from severe abdominal pain. There were days when I cried with him and I didn’t know what to do, how to relieve him. In the end, of course, he grew out of it.” she smiles. And just as the family began to function normally and peacefully, Alexandra felt an intense desire for another child.
“Josefína was five years old, Vojta celebrated her second birthday and all of a sudden I started feeling sad. I saw how children grow very quickly and I wanted to experience pregnancy once again, the impatient expectation of a baby and the feeling indescribably beautiful when you hold a baby in your arms for the first time. “ Alessandra confides. She did not keep her thoughts on her third child to herself for long and she decided to talk to her husband about her. But Jiří had a clear opinion about the other child: he didn’t even want to hear about it.
I’m just desperate
For several weeks, Alexandra tried to persuade her husband. She explained to him, begged and promised, sulked and didn’t speak to him, all in vain. “Jirka was and unfortunately still is very adamant. He never wants a third child and claims that there is nothing to convince him otherwise. He says he wants to fully enjoy our two children, who are more than enough for him,” and he no longer has the energy to do so. “ Alessandra sadly states. “But I still can’t figure it out. I’m almost desperate for a third child, which surprises me. But that’s it. I feel my life won’t be complete without him.”
Alexandra exerted intense pressure on her husband for nearly a year. They keep spinning and trying to break it in various ways. Not a day goes by that you don’t think about the third child, and not a week goes by that you don’t feel about Jiří. “Lately he has lost his patience with me. He even sends me to a psychologist … I am starting to feel miserable, and even though my mind tells me to calm down and be happy with my life as it is, my heart is against it. . I also thought about stopping contraception without my husband’s knowledge. I’m just desperate, “ admits Alessandro.
Source: Reader’s story, text by the author